Captain Atom #23 (December 1988)

Tags

Babylon, Carrie Spiegle, Cary Bates, Dan Raspler, Dennis O'Neill, Dr. Megala, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Martin Allard, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Romeo Tanghal, Sgt Jeffrey "Gunner" "Gos" Goslin, Shelley Eiber, The Ghost

“Prey for the Dead”

Written by Cary Bates & Greg Weisman

Pencils by Pat Broderick

Inks by Romeo Tanghal

Colors by Shelley Eiber

Letters by Carrie Spiegle

Assistant Editor: Dan Raspler

Editor: Denny O’Neil

This issue begins with the murder of millionaire aircraft industrialist Martin Lockleed. He received a message, supposedly from Captain Atom, to meet him at one of his hangars at midnight. What actually met him there were uniformed mercenaries who surround him before identifying themselves as servants of the Faceless One. They use their shock batons and electrocute the wealthy man.

Later, at the Damon Clinic, Dr. Megala and Babylon approach Martin’s son, Homer, to give him the bad news. Megala gives Homer a copy of his father’s will, which hands the company over to Homer. Megala himself has been appointed Executive Officer of the Lockleed Corporation, until such time as Homer is deemed competent by his doctors. Homer was initially locked up because he stalked and kidnapped Peggy Eiling, pretending to be her believed-to-be-long-dead father Nathaniel Adam. Homer promptly eats the will.

Megala and Babylon take their leave of Homer, saddened by his mental state and sure he’ll never be able to run his father’s company.

Meanwhile, at a nice outdoor restaurant, Nate and Starshine are having lunch with Peggy and Goz when Peggy finally drops the bombshell that she and Goz are engaged. Nate is, of course, shocked by this news. She really wants her father’s blessing, but Nate is not yet ready to give it. He starts to voice his objection but a quick under-the-table kick from Starshine shuts him up. He says he needs time to let it sink in. When Peggy and Goz leave, Nate and Goz share a tense handshake.

After they are gone, Nate confides in his girlfriend that he’s uneasy about this union. He’s worried because Goz is twice his daughter’s age and black. I remember when I first read this back in the 80s and wishing Nate hadn’t mentioned the race thing. I can get onboard with him having a problem about the age difference (it is his only daughter, after all). But to bring race into it left a bad taste in my mouth even then. I suppose it was a different time and Nate himself was a product of 1950s America, but I just wish they had left that aspect of the relationship alone. And if I recall correctly, DC got hate mail for hooking Peggy up with a black man. So it was an issue for some reason back then and in some places still an issue today. Perhaps Bates and Weisman were being bold. I don’t know. I just feel it never should have been brought up.

Apparently, Peggy let her stepfather know about the engagement via a note taped to the refrigerator. That’s cold, Peggy. This man loved and raised you after your father died. He may be an evil sadistic control freak, but he was still your daddy. Eiling takes his aggression out on Allard.

At Lockleed Labs, Megala and Babylon are looking over the Stealthray prototype. It was a teleporter developed by Alec Rois. Rois, of course, is the Ghost (a.k.a the Faceless One), who faced off with Captain Atom and Nightshade. He is also a holdover from the 1960s Charlton Captain Atom series, where he butted heads with Captain Atom and Nightshade. Rois was supposedly killed in that skirmish and his stealthray teleporter was destroyed. We readers know better, of course.

A quick cut to an unknown airport shows some Hare Krishnas being accosted by followers of the Faceless One. It is a cute scene that does not progress the plot at all.

Nate goes to visit his wife Angela’s grave. He confides in her that he knows that Goz and Peggy’s union is a mistake. But he decides that it is time for him to step aside and let Peggy be a grown-up. He later confides in Dr. Megala, who tells him that their relationship may be difficult, but not insurmountable. If they truly love each other, they’ll be fine. I honestly didn’t realize Nate and Heinrich were this close. The reason for Nate’s visit to Megala is so he can use his quantum powers to help work on the stealthray prototype.

Meanwhile, the Faceless One’s followers are paying a visit to Megala’s home. They are turned away by Babylon, but the cultists are persistent. They push past him and use their shock batons on him. Since these batons killed Martin Lockleed, things aren’t looking too good for old Babylon.

Back at the lab, Megala has Eiling over for some reason. I would think the Air Force wouldn’t be overseeing this private-sector project, but Lockleed probably has a government contract. Megala tries to explain what he is doing, but Wade is just too distracted by the Peggy/Goz situation. Seems to me he and Nate should have a sit-down.

Just after Wade leaves, a figure appears from within the stasis pool Megala has been working on. It appears to be Alec Rois. Also as he appears, Megala is approached by someone off-panel who appear to be the followers of the Faceless One.

Back at the Damon Clinic, Peggy and Goz are visiting with Homer. He is far more animated with her than he was with Megala. And, considering that Homer tried to kidnap her, Peggy is a saint for visiting the man in the hospital. No wonder Goz is so enamored with her. Homer is led away by a nurse, prompting Peggy to say she feels sorry for him. His father never had time for him when he was alive and now Martin is gone forever.

Back at the lab, the Faceless One Cult are demanding that Megala continue his work and allow the Ghost to push through. Megala admits that it may be possible to save Rois from the quantum field some day but it would require more research. The cultists tell him to do it now or they will kill Babylon. I suppose he survived the shock that killed Martin because he is younger and stronger. Megala agrees, but needs to call in Captain Atom for assistance.

Nate says he can come help tomorrow but Megala freaks out and says it has to be now. The cultists say they’ll be in the next room with Babylon and if Heinrich makes one wrong move, his friend is dead. Captain Atom arrives and they get right to work. Megala tells him to increase the intensity of his quantum blasts, which Nate does. He doesn’t suspect anything is amiss. The increase in energy allows the Ghost to emerge from the quantum field.

Megala takes advantage of the distraction by attacking the cultists with a fire extinguisher. Cap blasts at the Ghost but his quantum powers appear to have no effect. Megala manages to untie Babylon and they retreat to the lab. Captain Atom and the Ghost continue to blast at each other but before things go critical and the lab is destroyed, Nate scoops up Babylon and Megala and flies them to safety. Rois did vanish before the explosion, but it is unclear if he was sucked back into the quantum field or he teleported out. The end.

Not bad for a little filler story. I like anything that connects DC’s Captain Atom to his Charlton roots. Plus, Pat once again brought his A-game. Tanghal really compliments his work. Although the cover is misleading, I give this book an A. I like this modern, more-powerful version of the Ghost. Now, if only we could get some more Nightshade guest appearances…

In the next issue, Captain Atom goes to war with the aliens in an Invasion crossover.

Captain Atom #22 (December 1988)

Tags

Amanda Waller, Bob Smith, Carrie Spiegle, Cary Bates, Dan Raspler, Dennis O'Neill, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Martin Allard, Max Lord, Nightshade, Pat Broderick, Plastique, Shelley Eiber

“Captain Atom Goes to War”

Written by Cary Bates & Greg Weisman ° Pencils by Pat Broderick ° Inks by Bob Smith ° Letterer: Carrie Spiegle ° Colors by Shelley Eiber ° Editors: Denny O’Neil & Dan Raspler

Well, Nate has gone off the rails in some Central American country (we never learned where he actually was last issue). He has taken the law into his own hands in an attempt to stop a civil war and created an embarrassment for his own country. Meanwhile, Wade Eiling pays a visit to Amanda Waller to find out who authorized her to send Nightshade out after Captain Atom. Waller politely shows the General the door.

Down south, Nate is melting choppers left and right but sparing the operators. He’s only after the weapons. It seems a military man like him would realize there’s always more weapons. Burn them all and people will just use their hands, Nate.

En route, Nightshade (Eve) is being briefed by Waller and thinking to herself she would have jumped at this opportunity regardless. Seems Eve is still carrying a torch for Adam. Back in New York, a frustrated Maxwell Lord fields multiple calls about his rogue Justice Leaguer. Nate, meanwhile, continues to melt tanks and piss everybody off.

Back at the base camp, Nate tries to convince his fellow soldiers that maybe what Captain Atom is doing is right but they won’t hear it. How have they not out two and two together? This white haired pinko shows up in X country the same time Captain Atom shows up and starts melting helicopters and they can’t see they are the same guy? While sitting watch for the night, Cap is knocked out and dragged off by Plastique. The next morning his fellow soldiers are none too concerned as they break camp and move on.

When he wakes up, Nate finds Bette has fitted him with a special collar. If he tries to change into Captain Atom, the explosive will take his head off. She’s also unbuttoned his shirt, but that was really just for her.

In an effort to try and convince Plastique they can make a difference, Nate leads her to a pit where he has melted the government’s and the rebel’s stolen arsenals. Bette did not realize he had been disarming both sides. Back home, Eiling and Allard have realized the same thing. Wade says Nate is in for a rude awakening.

Back down south, Nate asks Bette if she’ll give him give days to sort this war out. But whatever will they do for those give days?

Sly old Nate seduced Bette in an attempt to lift the key to the collar off of her. But she’s too quick for him and ends up pinning him down. Just then darkness falls, but it isn’t a natural darkness. Nightshade has arrived. Realizing there is no way to fight her in the dark (Eve’s turf), Plastique unlocks the collar and Captain Atom brings in the light.

The women begin to scrap, but Nate interferes. He says he’s out to stop all conflict in the country, not just the war but also between Eve and Bette. But before anyone can do any real damage, the trip smells something burning and discover a nearby village in flames. Without their weapons, the soldiers have resorted to using torches. As Adam and Eve watch the locals have at each other with whatever they can get their hands on, Bette slips away.

Nate finally realizes there is no way he can stop this war. He gathers up Nightshade and they fly home.

Overall, I liked this little two-parter. This is the kind of stuff Captain Atom was getting into in his Charlton days, so it was only fitting Nightshade was along for the ride. Only, in those days, he would have solved the problem and not accepted defeat. But this ain’t your grandpa’s Captain Atom. A well-crafted story and great art. Broderick and Smith are a dream team. A.

Silver and Gold Episode 14: The Man of Gold vs the Man of Steel!

Tags

Alan Gold, Augustin Mas, Bob Smith, Booster Gold, Captain Atom, Carl Gafford, Cary Bates, Dan Jurgens, Dennis O'Neill, Dirk Davis, Duncan Andrews, Gene D'Angelo, General Eiling, Martin Allard, Mike DeCarlo, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Plastique, Superman, The Cambodian, The Mongolian, Trixie Collins

Superman teaches Booster Gold a harsh lesson with his fists in Booster Gold (vol 1) #7 by Dan Jurgens, Mike DeCarlo, Gene D’Angelo, Augustin Mas, and Alan Gold. Captain Atom gets sucker-stabbed by the Cambodian while he’s chatting up Plastique in Captain Atom (DC, vol 1) #7 by Cary Bates, Pat Broderick, Bob Smith, Carl Gafford, Duncan Andrews, and Dennis O’Neil. And Roy and Jay are there to talk about it!

Music
Heart of Gold – The Roy Clark Method
Battle Without Honor or Humanity – Tomoyasu Hotei

Direct Link.

Also available on iTunes and Stitcher.

Check out our tumblr for images from these issues.

Silver and Gold Episode 07: Missing In Action!

Tags

Anton Sarrock, Augustin Mas, Aunt Jeanie, Babylon, Blackguard, Bob Smith, Booster Gold, Captain Atom, Carl Gafford, Cary Bates, Dan Jurgens, Dirk Davis, Dr. Megala, General Eiling, Homer Lockleed, Margaret Eiling/Peggy Adam, Martin Allard, Martin Lockleed, Mike DeCarlo, Mindancer, Modern Age Captain Atom, Nansi Hoolahan, Pat Broderick, Skeets, The Director, Thorn, Trixie Collins

This time out, Jay and Roy review Booster Gold (vol 1) #4 by Dan Jurgens, Mike DeCarlo, Nansi Hoolahan, and Augustin Mas. Thorn, Booster, and Skeets battle Mindancer, Blackgaurd, and the 1,000. Then we review Captain Atom (DC, vol 1) #4 by Cary Bates, Pat Broderick, Bob Smith, Carl Gafford, and Augustin Mas. Nathaniel Adam is finally reunited with his daughter after his 18-year-absence. Plus, scads of your listener feedback!

Music
Heart of Gold – The Roy Clark Method
Peaches – The Presidents of the United States of America
Silver and Gold – Pee Wee King

Direct Link.

Also available on iTunes and Stitcher.

Check out or tumblr page for images from this issue.

Silver and Gold Episode 03: Captain Atom… A True American Hero?

Tags

Batman, Blue Beetle, Bob Smith, Brian Mulroney, Captain Atom, Cary Bates, Dr. Megala, Firestorm, General Eiling, Jeffrey "Goz" Goslin, John Costanza, Martin Allard, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Plastique, Ronald Reagan, Superman

In this episode of Silver & Gold, we discuss what I like to call “Captain Atom versus the French Canadian Separatists.” After a brief discussion about Captain Atom’s junk, we review Captain Atom (vol 1, DC) #2 by Cary Bates, Pat Broderick, Bob Smith, Carl Gafford, and John Costanza.

Remember to use the hashtag #SNGPOD when commenting on social media!

Music

Heart of Gold – The Roy Clark Method
Silver Threads and Golden Needles – The Springfields

Download this episode now on iTunes!

Direct Link.

Check out our tumblr page for images from this episode.

 

Captain Atom #18 (August 1988)

Tags

Babylon, Bob Smith, Captain Atom, Cary Bates, Colonel Uber, Dr. Megala, Duncan Andrews, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Major Force, Margaret Eiling/Peggy Adam, Martin Allard, Master Militarius, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Shelley Eiber

“Power Play”

• Writers:  Cary Bates & Greg Weisman
• Pencils:  Pat Broderick
• Inks:  Bob Smith
• Colors:  Shelley Eiber
• Letters:  Duncan Andrews

This issue was published in May of 1988.  It opens with General Eiling paying a visit Dr. Megala.  He demands that Megala quit “playing sick” and gets back to the base.  Eiling wants Megala on hand for the launch of something called the Force-One.  Megala points out he is convalescing and that he is no longer needed for the Force-One project anyway.  Eiling tries to convince him that he needs to come because the Force-One is a vital key to keeping Major Force in check.  The General leaves, meeting Allard outside with a chopper.  Allard asks if there is any improvement in Megala’s condition.  Eiling says Megala feels guilt over unleashing Major Force on the world.  More likely, he feels guilt over the government’s treatment of Nate and could care less about Clifford Zmeck.

Later, as Nate tries to wrap a gift, he receives a call for help from a Colonel Uber.  It seems that Eiling’s helicopter never made it back to base.  Uber, fully aware of Nate’s secret identity, is asking for Captain Atom’s help finding the General.  Nate is not amused.

Back at the base, it seems Megala decided to come in after all. He says it was the General’s “pep talk” that brought him in.  Noticing a glitch, he goes up into the gantry to repair the faulty Force-One.

Later, Nate presents Peggy with the birthday gift he bought her: a bracelet she’s had her eye on for a while.  Peggy begins to cry because this is the first birthday Eiling hasn’t called her since he became her stepfather.  Not expecting this guilt trip, Nate drops in on his ex-wife Angela after dropping Peggy off.  Of course, Angela has been dead for a few years so he visits her at the cemetary.  He still doesn’t understand why she married Eiling after his own “death,” but concedes that he was a good father and must have been a good husband.  He drops flowers on her grave and tells her he knows what she’d want him to do.

Cut to some place completely dark where Eiling and Allard are being held.  Allard lights a match, but visibility is near zero.  We get a rare glimpse of Eiling’s human side when allard apologizes for passing out and the General says there no shame in it; he passed out himself.

Back at the base, Captain Atom shows up with Eiling’s crashed helicopter.  He found in on the north face of Wiley’s Peak.  Colonel uber appreciates Cap’s help but when pressed, Nate refuses to tell him why he changed his mind.  Uber theorizes that the General was kidnapped by Major Force, who has been AWOL for ten days.  The Major has strayed 200 miles outside of their sensor range.  Uber explains that Megala’s Satellite (set to launch that night), the Force One, will fix that glitch and give the military constant tabs on Force.

All the while Cap and Uber are talking we see Megala hard at work on his rocket.  Atom flies off to continue his search for General Eiling.

Eiling and Allard manage to burst out of their dark cell.  Allard is convinced that Major Force is their captor, but the General is not so sure. Allard recall nozzles coming out of the helicopter’s control panel and shooting nerve gas at them.  Eiling says the gas only could have been put in at Megala’s retreat.  The evidence doesn’t add up to Major Force.  Eiling can recall seeing someone beat their downed helicopter with an iron mallet before passing out.

Just then, a television mounted on the ceiling outside their cell comes to life and General Eiling meets his kidnapper.

 “Master Militarius,” according to Allard, was one of the villains Captain Atom fought while he was working in secret (the “Big Lie” – Nate’s cover story).  Whomever this is, they most likely know Cap’s cover is a lie.  Allard and Eiling don’t have a chance to work this out.  A cannon emerges from the walls and begin to shoot bouncy black balls around the room.  The two captors use the wooden door of their cell as a shield, but the balls begin to smash it to bits.  Clearly Master Militarius means to kill them or do serious bodily harm to them.  The two prisoners use the door to jam the cannon, which destroys it.  They go into the next room, the room that housed the cannon, only to find another monitor.  Master Militarius tells them that the entire house was recently renovated with booby traps.  Allard hears rushing water.  The room begins to fill with water while back at the base Uber continues with the countdown for Megala’s rocket.

General Eiling and Allard duck under the water.  Eiling finds a weak spot in the wall where the wood had been rotting and shoves his weight into it.  The two captors burst out of the room, and completely out of the house onto a tranquil hillside.  Eiling thinks their escape was too easy.  He finds Militarius’ costume in some nearby bushes along with a note warning him that he’s in danger of being listed as AWOL.  Allard points out the launch of Megala’s rocket in the distance.

As the two hike back to base, we see Babylon hiding in the bushes wearing Militarius’ coat.

Later, back at the base, Eiling confronts Megala.  He has figured out that it was Babylon that kidnapped him on orders from the doctor.  Megala explained that he needed Eiling out of the way while he added something special to the satellite’s payload.  There is a monitor connected to a device in the rocket. At the point of Megala’s death, a message will be broadcast to the world by the satellite.  The message will expose the truth about Captain Atom and expose Eiling’s involvement.  It is Megala’s insurance policy (Eiling has tried to have the doctor killed at least once before).

Captain Atom appears, with a very drunk Major Force in tow.  He found the Major stinking drunk in the Swiss Alps, and returned him to Eiling as a favor to the Swiss people.

The issue charmingly ends with Major Force puking on General Eiling’s shoes.

This was not my favorite issue of Captain Atom.  There was not a lot of super-heroing going on.  While I do like to see Nate’s human life, I’m not overly fond of Eiling-heavy stories.  And Allard is such a dork, I wonder how he ever rose so high.  Also, Babylon’s deathtraps really could have killed Eiling and Allard.  Like dead for realsies.  Is that really the kind of guys Babylon and Megala are?  The art was great, though.  Pat Broderick was doing great.  I give this issue an A for art and a C+ for story.

(All characters and images belong to DC Comics and I am not making any profit off this blog.)

 

Captain Atom #16 (June 1988)

Tags

Babylon, Black Canary, Blue Beetle, Bob Smith, Booster Gold, Captain Atom, Cary Bates, Doctor Spectro, Dr. Megala, Duncan Andrews, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Jeffrey "Goz" Goslin, Major Force, Margaret Eiling/Peggy Adam, Martin Allard, Mister Miracle, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Red Tornado, Shelly Eiber, Starshine Stone, Swamp Thing

“The Big Blowout”

• Writers:  Cary Bates & Greg Weisman
• Pencils:  Pat Broderick
• Inks:  Bob Smith
• Colors:  Shelley Eiber
• Letters:  Duncan Andrews

This issue hit the stands on March 1, 1988.  This issue featured Cap’s JLI friends and his first meeting with Red Tornado.

When this issue opens, General Eiling and Dr. Megala are looking at images of Captain Atom taking a beating from Major Force (from the last issue) and discussing whether or not Force should be reprimanded.  Dr. Megala thinks he should be, but Eiling says that since Nate quit the Air Force, he had that beating coming to him.  Megala warns that if the surveillance video of the fight ever gets out, it would be devastating to their project.  Eiling says that isn’t a concern; he is having Allard wipe the tapes.  He begins to wheel Megala out of his command room, but is intercepted by Babylon.  Allard reports that Major Force is again under control as Babylon wheels Megala away, and Megala continues to beat himself up over the mess he’s gotten Nathaniel Adam into.

Back in his apartment, Nate has made the discovery that bruises acquired in his metal exo-shell also appear on his human non-super-hero face.

Nate is upset that he couldn’t stay away from Major Force and Dr. Spectro.  Upon leaving his apartment (wearing dark sunglasses and a fedora to hide his bruises), Nate discovers an eviction notice on his apartment door.  He pawns his watch for $375.  As he walks home contemplating his bills, Nate discovers a business called “Mellow Yellows.”  The sign outside declares it an “authentic 60s nostalgia outlet,” and that they buy and sell memorabilia.

Inside Mellow Yellows, two boys are arguing about the first astronaut to go up in a Gemini capsule.  One says it was John Glenn, the other insists it was Gus Grissom.  Nate cuts in and says it was actually Alan Shepard and that the model the two are arguing over is of a Mercury capsule, not Gemini.  The owner of the business comes over and introduces herself as Starshine Stone.  Nate introduces himself as Cameron Scott and asks how much she’ll give him for an authentic JFK keyring from the 1960 presidential campaign.  She offers him $250 and then tells Nate if he can answer four more “vintage questions,” she’ll pay him double.

Of course, Nate wins the wager.  After all, it was the 1960s just a year or so ago for him.  After a little shameless flirting with Starshine, he leaves the store with his slightly-ill-gotten $500.

The story cuts to a couple of freaked-out meteorologists (probably at the National Weather Service).  They are very worried about a storm brewing off the Eastern seaboard of the United States, from the Gulf of Mexico as far north as Washington, DC.  Not only is the storm massive, but one of the meteorologists thinks it is alive.  He warns his coworker that they must notify the Governor, the National Guard, and the Justice League.

At the JLI New York Embassy, Blue Beetle is on monitor duty when the warning comes through.

Beetle assembles the Justice League.  Mister Miracle, Black Canary, and Booster Gold come running.  The hurricane is somehow “saying” that it has a duty to cleanse the Earth.  With Blue Beetle as acting leader, the JLI piles into the shuttle and heads towards the eye of the storm.  As they approach, some relief workers on the ground who are busy piling sandbags hear the “voice of the storm.”  It says, “I descend upon the Earth to rid it of the impurities which have tainted its skies for so long! For I am the elemental of the air!”  This is the first mention of elementals in the pages of Captain Atom, and it is an important theme throughout the title’s run.

On the shuttle, Black Canary recognizes the voice of the storm as that of her old team-mate Red Tornado.  She uses her sonic scream to communicate with the Red Tornado elemental/hurricane.  In response, the storm blasts the shuttle, sending its occupants flying about the cabin.  A giant cloud hand grabs the shuttle and places it on the ground outside the storm’s radius.  The JLI emerges from the ship and the face of Red Tornado appears in the clouds and addresses them.

He warns that if they try and interfere again, he will kill them.   Blue Beetle calls for backup, which means Cap’s pager goes off just as he is buzzing Peggy and Goz up to his apartment.  He leaves his friend and daughter a hastily scrawled note of apology and jumps out the window on his way to the storm in Louisiana.

The JLI has their hands full saving civilians on the ground and have just about given up hope that their backup will arrive when Captain Atom arrives on the scene.  They brief Cap on the situation and point out how dangerously close the storm is to the Langley Nuclear Reactor Plant.  Beetle doesn’t believe Cap is up to the task of fighting Red Tornado (based on the bruises on his face), but Cap ignores him and flies towards the storm.

Red Tornado knocks Cap into the Gulf of Mexico, but the hero doesn’t stay down.  He returns to the storm and begins circling it at a rapid speed.  He draws energy from the quantum field to create a counter-vortex that deflects the storm from the path of the nuclear plant.  The storm is diverted over a nearby swamp, where the battle is watched by an angry Swamp Thing.

To be continued next issue.  So we have the earth elemental, the air elemental, and Captain Atom facing off in the next issue.  It promises to be an epic battle.

This wasn’t a spectacular story.  I do like Blue Beetle’s mistrust of Captain Atom for no particular reason that is hinted at in this story, though.  I never cared much for Starshine Stone, either.  I don’t know why she bugs me.  I give it the story B-.  But Pat Broderick and Bob Smith have knocked it out of the park again. A for art.

Captain Atom #15 (May 1988)

Tags

Bob Smith, Captain Atom, Cary Bates, Doctor Spectro, Douglas Eliot, Duncan Andrews, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Major Force, Martin Allard, Modern Age Captain Atom, Nansi Hoolahan, Pat Broderick, Theresa Delgado

“Slugfest”

• Writers:  Cary Bates & Greg Weisman
• Pencils:  Pat Broderick
• Inks:  Bob Smith
• Colors:  Nansi Hoolahan
• Letters:  Duncan Andrews

This issue of Captain Atom, released to the public on February 2, 1988, will always be one of my favorites.  It opens with General Eiling reading a report submitted by Nathaniel Adam detailing the events of Justice League International #11 and #12.  At the end of the report, Nate has tacked on the extremely mature phrase “Eiling bites it.”  Nate thinks to himself how dirty it makes him feel, spying on the Justice League for the government.  Eiling’s underling Douglas Eliot clearly finds Nates extra jab amusing.  Eiling clearly does not.

As a news report mentions the fact that no one has seen Major Force in public lately, Randy calls his dad to let him know he’s out of Project Majestic.  Randy explains it was Peggy’s idea for him to call.  Randy is still upset with Nate for “walking out” on the Air Force, just like he “walked out” on his family.  Nate has trouble hearing Randy and battles with the TV remote.  Randy hangs up and boards a plane as Nate angrily smashes his TV screen with the remote control.

At Eiling’s base, the General and Martin Allard are meeting with the newly-released-from-prison Tom Emory (Doctor Spectro).  He reveals that the UFO used in the Major Force fake origin was one of Emory’s toys.  Emory says he doesn’t mind, as his new government employers have sprung him from prison.  Eiling lets the ex con know he’s not entirely pleased with his Spectro persona and that Emory’s sloppy tech almost blew the whole deal.  Eiling had to transfer his stepson because Randy was close to uncovering the plot.

Eiling gives the floor to Theresa Delgado, who begins to explain how Spectro’s upcoming “battle” with Major Force is going to go down.

Tom says there’s no way he’s putting on the Spectro costume again and getting thrown back into prison.  Eiling calls in Major Force to “persuade” Emory.  The Major bursts through a wall and picks up Tom.  Force says Tom is lucky their battle is scripted because otherwise he would kill Dr. Spectro.  Tom fishes a small disk out of his pocket and flashes Force with dazzling light that knocks the Major out.

When Tom tries to walk out, Martin Allard grabs his arm and twists it behind his back.  Tom threatens to go to the police, to which Eiling counter-threats that he will have Major Force kill Dr. Spectro.

In his apartment, Nate gets a call from his new employer.  Turns out that “Cameron Scott” has some “improprieties” in his service record and the job offer is rescinded.  Nate realizes Eiling has gotten to them.  He checks his mail and reads more rejection letters as he strolls downtown (past an interesting comic book store, I might add – signs in the window exclaim “Comic Cafe featuring DC and that other company,” and “Millennium week 368 is here.”).

Nate thinks to himself that he shouldn’t have quit Eiling; he should have killed the man.  He is completely oblivious to the newspaper headlines in a nearby news-stand that reveal Dr. Spectro’s release from prison.

Two days later, Spectro is fleeing the scene of his latest crime.  He has robbed a bunch of rich snobs who were attending some sort of function in what looks like the Seattle Space Needle (This is New York City so maybe it is The View? I don’t know if it was around in 1988.).  Major Force leaps from a helicopter onto the back out Spectro’s glider and they begin to go down.  All scripted, of course.  They “crash” right in front of a lucky camera crew.  On the streets of DC, Nate catches the live broadcast on a store-front TV.

The Major forgets his lines and begins to ad-lib.  The scripted scene takes an unexpected turn when Captain Atom appears to lend a hand.

Spectro runs.  He’s not wanting to face Captain Atom again.  Cap goes after him, and Major force hops on his back to go with them.  Cap shoots Spectro down and shakes off Major Force.  Tom uses his holograms to appear as a gorilla, but Cap isn’t fooled and knocks Spectro back.

Major Force attacks Captain Atom.  Dr. Spectro thinks Force is a fool to go off script, but the Major points out there are now cameras nearby (they’re in a wooded area – Central Park?).  Tom likes the sound of this.  He uses one of his doo-dads to temporarily blind Cap.  Major Force then channels Ben Grimm and goes to town on Captain Atom, mercilessly beating his disabled opponent.  It says a lot about his character.  He knows he can’t beat Captain Atom in a fair fight and is determined to bring down his enemy any way he can.  But the only reason Cap is his “enemy” is because of the Major doing douchebag stuff like this.

The splash page of the Major beating Cap is some of Broderick and Smith’s best work, but the true hero of the page is Duncan Andrews and his addition of the word “plopffff.”

Major Force and Dr. Spectro leave Captain Atom’s unconcious body in the woods, reminding each other to give the good Captain credit for assisting in Spectro’s capture.

I liked the idea of Captain Atom trying to mess with Eiling’s party and then getting beaten for his trouble.  Very well written and drawn, I give this issue an A.  But why is it one of my favorites?  Well, the answer to that lies on the letters page with this little gem:

“TO:  Captain Cameron Scott/Captain Nathaniel Adam/Captain Atom
FROM:  Sergeant Jason *****
RE:  The Captain Atom Project
MSG:  Sir,
I have noticed over the past few comics that you’ve been taking a lot of unwanted abuse from General Eiling.  As a fellow Air Force officer, I should remind you that you have the power to simply desert the Air Force and forget about the entire Captain Atom Project.  I say this knowing how much you despise being a super-hero in general, and most of all you hate spying on the Justice League International.  You should simply get up in front of the General and retire from the Air Force.  Everyone knows you didn’t kill General Lemar anyway.  You’re too swell a guy!

Sgt. Jason X. Xxxxx”

Yeah, that was me.  No, I was never in the Air Force.  I was 15 years old.  In those days, DC would print the sender’s address along with the letter.  Some months later, I got a letter from a kid who was thinking of enlisting in the Air Force and wanted advice from me.  I should have written him back and said I was just a kid myself, but it just seemed too embarrassing for me at the time.  Also, was I naive or what?  Thinking Cap could just quit like that?  I mean, he DID quit, but not for long.

Anyway, that’s my brush with comic book fame.

Captain Atom #13 (February 1988)

Tags

Bob Smith, Captain Atom, Cary Bates, Chester King, Duncan Andrews, Enemy Ace, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Harris Eiling, Margaret Eiling/Peggy Adam, Martin Allard, Modern Age Captain Atom, Nansi Hoolahan, Nightshade, Pat Broderick, Randall Eiling/Randy Adam

“We Three Kings”

• Writers:  Cary Bates & Greg Weisman
• Pencils:  Pat Broderick
• Inks:  Bob Smith
• Colors:  Nansi Hoolahan
• Letters:  Duncan Andrews

So this is Christmas for Captain Atom.  Morose and bittersweet.  I know a lot of Captain Atom fans are not Christian and do not necessarily celebrate December 25 as the birth of Christ, but Nathaniel Adam was raised Catholic.  So I apologize to anyone if they find anything about this post offensive, but I assure you I am not another pig-headed American trying to force his own religion or politics down anyone’s throat.  I see this as just a plot device.

For those of you who are Christian, I wish you a happy Christmas.  To those of you who aren’t, but still celebrate Christmas, a happy Christmas to you as well.  Also, happy Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxing Day, Day of Goodwill, Slovenia Independence and Unity Day, HumanLight, and whatever significance this time of the year holds for you.

This issue of Captain Atom, cover dated March 1988, hit the spinner rack on December 8, 1987.  It introduced two new supporting cast members (Chester King and Harris Eling [the first Eiling I’ve actually genuinely liked]), and reunited Captain Atom with his old Charlton partner and girlfriend Nightshade (Eve Eden).  It also featured Enemy Ace, a strange character to be found in a Captain Atom book, but it works.

This issue opens with Nate standing on a bridge in a snowy park overlooking a small body of water on Christmas Eve.  He chucks his “Cameron Scott” ID into the water.  In Captain Atom Annual #1, Nate resigned from the Air Force.  He cut all ties with General Eiling, Dr. Megala, Lieutenant Allard, Major Force, and all the other knuckleheads associated with the Captain Atom Project.  But he’s still using the fake identity they provided him with.

Nate feels he is truly free of Eiling.  The General has been keeping Adam in line by threatening to tell Peggy and Randy the truth about their father.  But now Nate feels he has a card that trumps Eiling’s – Major Force.

Noting that the snow makes visibility in the park nearly zero, Nate transforms into Captain Atom, burning away his Air Force uniform in the process, and flies away.

Meanwhile, at his father’s home, General Eiling is stoking his fireplace and thinking about Captain Atom and Major Force.  He knows Nate thinks he has dirt on him, but Eiling also knows he still has dirt on Nate.  Captain Atom is the one, after all, who told the world Major Force’s “origin story.”  Nate can’t reveal the lie without admitting his own guilt.  And that would eventually unravel Captain Atom’s own story – the “big lie.”

So lost in thought is General Eiling that he does not hear his father calling him.  Harris (Eiling’s father) wants to know why his son is so preoccupied.  But Eiling tells his father he can’t discuss “matters pertaining to national security.”  Harris asks his son to try and put his worries aside so that they – and Randy and Peggy – can have a happy holiday.

Back in his apartment (probably in Washington, DC), Nate is going through his bills.  On the coffee table in front of him is the saddest looking Charlie Brown Christmas tree. The apartment is littered with bachelor trash and empty cans (but fear not, Captain Atom fans, it appears Nate has been binge-drinking soda – not beer).  His bank account is dwindling, his friends and family are all out of town, his wife is dead, and he’s sad and alone on Christmas Eve.  But he looks at the bright side – Eiling is no longer in his life.

At this point in the story we meet Chester King.  He’s a young, handsome, happy young man.  He’s on a pay phone with his wife, telling her he has to work late on Christmas Eve for “Mr. Wiley.”  He says he just has to run an errand for his boss and he’ll come straight home.  His wife, a beautiful raven-hared woman in a skimpy outfit, says she’ll keep the egg nog warm for him (gross).  Then Chester calls Mr. Wiley, thanking him for the generous bonus his employer has given him.  Mr. Wiley tells Chester that “the incendiary device” is identical to the type used by the “Black Cougars.”  (The Black Cougars must be the DCU equivalent of the Black Panthers.)

“When the tenement goes up,” assures Chester, “[The Black Cougars] will get all the blame… and you’ll get all the insurance benefits.”

So this “Mr. Wiley” and Chester are involved in some sort of insurance fraud scam.  Chester hangs up the pay phone and is approached by a homeless man who says his name is Bubba.  He asks Chester for a quarter and Chester gives Bubba a wad of bills.

Back at the Eiling house, Randy and Peggy are frolicking in the snow while Harris watches from a window.  He tells General Eiling it reminds him of the first Christmas he spent with them after his son married Angela Adam.  Harris quickly realizes his son isn’t listening to him; he is on the phone with Allard.  General Eiling shoos his father out of the room, citing “national security” again.

Next we see Nate walking the streets of D.C. (and he identifies it as Washington, D.C., so mystery solved!) in a foul mood.  He has no one to spend the holiday with, thinking to himself that even Dr. Megala and Babylon are with friends.  He is also approached by the homeless Bubba, asking him for a dollar.  Nate gives Bubba a quarter, saying it is all he can spare.

Chester King, meanwhile, is breaking into the abandoned tenement, setting the explosives while thinking to himself how happy his wife is going to be with his bonus and a surprise trip to the Bahamas.  He refers to the condemned building as “the Dixie,” and that it is an eyesore anyway.

Bubba and his homeless brethren are enjoying a bit of liquor around their barrel fire and a Christmas tree that is even more pathetic than Nate’s.  Bubba’s friends ask if he has somewhere better to be.  To this, Bubba replies, “Better than this?  There was a time… when only the creme de la creme of the rich and famous could even get into the ballroom of the Dixie Hotel on the night before Christmas.”

Chester bursts into his favorite watering hole, Smitty’s Bar, buying a round for everyone there.  In a dark corner sits the morose Nathaniel Adam, feeling out of place.  Even here, in a bar, we don’t see Nate drinking alcohol or beer.  I guess it wasn’t super-hero-like to be depressed and drinking.  But didn’t Tony Stark (Iron Man) have a well-documented drinking problem?  Not to mention Green Arrow’s pal Speedy being a heroin junkie.  I guess Bates and Weisman wanted to keep Captain Atom light by not showing him drinking.  However, he is clearly holding a beer on the cover.  I’m overthinking this.

Back at the Eiling house, Harris is regaling Peggy and Randy with a tale from his own RAF days.  Stuck in the skies over Germany in World War I with a fuel leak in his Nieuport 10, Harris encountered Hans von Hammer – a.k.a Enemy Ace.  Faulty plane or not, Harris couldn’t pass up a chance to shoot down the German who had racked up “close to 70 kills since the war began.”  Von Hammer, in a brilliant aerial maneuver, looped over Harris and became the pursuer rather than the pursued.  But Enemy Ace never fired on Harris Eiling.  He saw that the Nieuport was disabled and let the RAF pilot go.  He even gave Eiling a salute.  It was against his “battle code” to take down a disabled opponent.  But Harris didn’t live by the same code, and fired on Enemy Ace with his sidearm in vain.  Later in life, he regretted taking those shots.  He felt it was dishonorable.

General Eiling gets really pissed off by his father’s revelation.  He calls it the biggest load of crap he’s ever heard.  He says his father has gone soft and is senile.  He storms out into the snow without putting on a coat.

At Smitty’s Bar, a man crashes in, saying the old Dixie Hotel is on fire.  The patrons go out to watch the fire.  Someone comments on “those poor squatters.”  This alarms Chester.  Mr. Wiley never mentioned squatters.  The onlookers try to organize a rescue but don’t know what they can do.  Except one of those onlookers knows exactly what to do – Nathaniel Adam.

As Nate ducks into an alley to do his super-hero switcheroo, Chester sees a man on fire run from the building.  He throws the man into the snow, smothering the flames with his coat.  With horror, Chester realizes the man is Bubba, and watches him die.  That is when the full scope of what he’s done hits him.  His friends pull him away from Bubba just as Captain Atom bursts on the scene.

Nate thinks to himself that, even though he’s been super-heroing for over a year, this feels like his first time out.  He protects some of the squatters from falling debris before absorbing the smoke and flames.

At the Eiling house, the General is holding his hand over the flame in the fireplace.  He tells his father he will not tolerate any more “weak-willed molly-coddling” in front of his children – especially Randy.  Neither the General nor his father realize that Randy is listening to their conversation, looking a little distressed.

In D.C., firefighters are finishing up at the Dixie.  One of the men returns Chester’s coat, calling Bubba a “bum,”which angers Chester.  He walks home, despondent over what he has done.  Passing a bell-ringer collecting money for charity, Chester drops $5,000 into the man’s bucket.

At Smitty’s, the patrons are lifting Captain Atom up and cheering him.  Nate thinks he’s never felt so close to being a real super-hero.  A blonde woman in the bar flirts with Cap.  She says she’s Eve Eden, and that she and Cap have a mutual “uncle” who asked her to keep an eye on him.  Nate asks her out and they walk out of the bar, hand-in-hand.  Eve Eden is, of course, Nightshade.

Like I said, morose and bittersweet.  Bates and Weisman really captured how lonely it is to be Captain Atom.  He’s missed 18 years and life went on without him.  His children don’t even think of him or seem to miss him on this holiday.  It is really kind of touching.  I really loved this issue.  We have Nate sad and lonely, yet happy he’s free, the return of Nightshade into his life, the introduction of one of my favorite and little-used supporting characters (Harris Eiling), and Enemy Ace.  And I have absolutely nothing negative to say about Pat Brodericks artwork.  I think this may be one of my favorite issues of Captain Atom. A+

The cover alone warrants an A+.

Captain Atom Annual #1 (1988)

Tags

Bob Smith, Captain Atom, Carl Gafford, Cary Bates, Dr. Megala, Duncan Andrews, General Eiling, Greg Weisman, Major Force, Martin Allard, Modern Age Captain Atom, Pat Broderick, Randall Eiling/Randy Adam

“The Dark Side of the Force”

• Writers:  Cary Bates & Greg Weisman
• Pencils:  Pat Broderick
• Inks:  Bob Smith
• Colors:  Carl Gafford
• Letters:  Duncan Andrews

Although this annual is cover-dated “1988,” it probably should have been the 1987 annual.  It picks up where Captain Atom #12 left off, and was on sale November 24, 1987.  But because comic books are dated 2-3 months after they are published (as are magazines, and I never knew why), this was the 1988 annual.  When annual #2 was published nine months later, it also bore the date “1988.”  So Captain Atom looks like it had two annuals in 1988 when really it was one in 1987 and one in 1988.

Confused?  Me too.

The annual opens to a radio broadcast in a small unnamed community.  Several listeners have reported a UFO in the skies that seems to have gone down in a nearby abandoned limestone quarry.  The DJ suggests that it all just some sort of government plot.  How right he is.

Meanwhile, in his apartment (I think maybe he lives in Washington, DC, but it hasn’t really been established with any certainty yet), Nathaniel Adam is awakened by a phone call.  General Eiling is ordering Captain Atom to investigate the crashed UFO.  Nate seems none too interested until Eiling tells him that Randy will be there.

Indeed, Majestic Squadron is on its way to the quarry via helicopter.  Randy is cracking jokes just like his dad used to do before a dangerous op.  Doctor Megala and General Eiling are watching Randy and Captain Atom’s individual progresses as they head for the crashed ship.

Captain Atom is first to arrive on the scene (aside from some locals).  He touches down in front of the large silver craft as it begins to open.  Cap tries to welcome the aliens to Earth, but the response he gets is an angry rock-man flying out of the open hatch (this is the fellow we met in Captain Atom #12, Clifford Zmeck – aka Major Force).  He lands and then stands before Cap, towering over him.  Nate tells the “alien” that he is his friend, impressing the locals who are watching (Nate is not in the loop – unaware that this alien is actually an Air Force Sergeant).  The alien smacks Cap, sending him flying.

So Cap gets pissed.  He tried the “diplomatic” approach.  Next he tries the “blasting quantum death into the face of the enemy” approach.  The locals cheer for Captain Atom as Megala and Eiling monitor the Major’s vitals.  When Cap goes to investigate the rock face he embedded the Major into, he is blasted by black matter.  Major Force leaps at Captain Atom, calling him “dork face.”

It is the use of the phrase “dork face” that tips Nate off that maybe this dude isn’t an alien after all.  Eiling is proud of “Mr. Zmeck.”  He poses a threat to Captain Atom that Nate hasn’t had to face yet.  Zmeck manipulates matter the way Nate manipulates energy.  It is a welcome surprise to Eiling.  Megala says the use of matter instead of energy could be from the amount of alien metal used on Zmeck, or the lower mega-tonnage of the nuclear device used; or even a variable they don’t even know.

Local news has picked up the battle, which appears to be at a stalemate.  Megala warns Eiling that Zmeck is about to enter his final molting stage.  Eiling orders his man at the scene to step in.

At the scene of the “crash,” a man dressed as an Air Force Major (but wearing green goggle-like glasses that Pat Broderick seems to love drawing) bursts into the crowd of onlookers, saying “My pal, the Captain, needs help.”  He repels into the quarry before the camera crew can get a good look at him.

Zmeck encases Captain Atom in a ball of matter.  Cap tries to break free, but can only manage to get his head and hand out before passing out (from exhaustion I guess).  The mysterious Major has Zmeck in his sights and fires his rifle at the beast just as the final molting process begins.  He then charges at Zmeck, who picks him up to break his back.  Zmeck passes out and the quarry fills with a thick black smoke that obscures the view from above.

Captain Atom revives and sees the alien ship open once more.  General Eiling and Dr. Megala emerge.  A medical team dressed in haz-mat suits check on Zmeck and the mysterious Major (who is actually Lieutenant Martin Allard).  Cap bursts out of his prison, angry that he was used by his superiors.  He says he’d heard rumors of a second experiment with the alien metal.  Eiling explains Major Force Project to Cap (which we learned about in Captain Atom #12).  He tells Cap that the “alien ship” is going to explode and he expects Nate to absorb the flames.  Megala makes a lame apology to Nate for using him like this.  He says Eiling threatened to simply kill Zmeck upon his arrival if Megala didn’t play along.

Cap asks Megala to “please just get out of my sight.”  The doctor follows Eiling into a tunnel that will protect the team from the blast.  The smoke clears just as Majestic Squadron shows up.  Randall Eiling requests a meeting with Captain Atom.  Nate ignores his son (much to his own disgust), picks up Major Force, and flies away.  He pauses long enough to absorb the explosion of the “space craft,” per General Eiling’s orders, before leaving the scene altogether.

Over the next few days, news programs report what little info they have on the crash.  The Air Force isn’t releasing any details, and the identity of the mysterious Major, Captain Atom’s “friend,” is still unknown.  Back at the base, Major Force has been debriefed and has a symbol etched onto his metal skin.  He doesn’t like the implants that monitor his every move or the Delta-9 gas pellets or the head-blowing-off explosives.  Megala doesn’t trust Zmeck but Eiling feels he has complete control over the Major.

Later, Captain Atom holds a press conference.  He explains that Major Force is his ally, an amalgam of the alien and his mysterious Major friend.

Over the course of the next ten days, it becomes clear what a menace General Eiling has unleashed upon the world.  In trying to stop up a breach in the Carson Dam (in Nevada, maybe?), Major Force inadvertently causes the crash of a rescue helicopter and the deaths of everyone on board.  Afterwards he is indignant with witnesses and brags about the thousands of lives he’d saved.  Later, when Major Force responds to a hostage crisis at a “downtown tenement building” (the city is still not identified), he guts the building, sending hostage-takers and hostages alike flying to the ground.  They end up in a local hospital’s ICU.

In an effort to distance himself from Major Force, Captain Atom appears on a news program called Newsprobe.  He apologizes to the public for unleashing Force upon them.  He pleads with Force to curtail future use of his powers.  Eiling, watching the broadcast while on the phone with Megala, thinks he can still spin the Major Force story positively.

Outside the studio, Major Force confronts Captain Atom.  He tells Cap that he’s right – Zmeck has no business being a super-hero.  Upon Force’s request, Cap gives him a lift to the base to see Eiling and Megala (Major Force does not have the ability to fly).  As they approach the base, Force grabs Cap around the neck.  Cap flips Major Force, pissed off that he has been drawn into Eiling’s insane plans.  He thinks to himself, “Never again!”

It appears that, due to his size and strength, Force begins to get the upper-hand.  However, just as he is about to blast Cap with matter, Allard uses the implanted explosives to blow off Major Force’s left hand.  Cap realizes Force is fitted with microphones, cameras, and explosives.  Eiling chides Allard, saying he was supposed to release gas, not blow off the Major’s hand.

“Sorry,” says Allard, “wrong button. Gas activated now.”  (Martin Allard has reason to hate Clifford Zmeck – the Air Force Sergeant killed Allard’s mother in 1969.)

The gas knocks the Major out.  Nate thinks to himself that Eiling made two mistakes.  The first was to underestimate how mentally unstable Zmeck was.  The second was to get Captain Atom involved in the first mistake.  Nate uses concentrated quantum blasts to etch something on Major Force’s chest before tossing the unconscious “super-hero” into Eiling’s headquarters.

Force crashes into Megala’s lab in front of General Eiling, Lieutenant Allard, and Dr. Megala.  Etched on Zmeck’s chest are the words, “I QUIT!”

I vividly remember the first time I read this issue, back in 1987.  It blew my poor little fifteen-year-old mind (for reasons I will clarify when I review Captain Atom #15… How’s that for foreshadowing?).  It was an exciting story.  I loved the idea of another quantum powered dude out there, a less-intelligent Moriarty to Captain Atom’s Sherlock Holmes.  I don’t know why Greg Weisman started shouldering the writing responsibility with Cary Bates, but they seemed to be a good team.  And Pat Broderick and Bob Smith did a great job.  An A effort all around.

This was another important milestone in Captain Atom’s history, although I did not realize it at the time I first read it.  From 1960 to 1975, Cap only appeared in 24 comics as a major character.  That’s just 24 issues spread out over 15 years (and two of those appearances were just in fanzines).  He was always on the fringe of the DC Universe from the time he was purchased from Charlton Comics.  He was included in the Crisis on Infinite Earths mini-series but not as a major player.  He really came into his own with this particular series, and was popular enough to warrant two annuals.  I remember (not knowing about the character’s history pre-1987) being anxious about how this was all going to play out when I was a kid.  Rereading this annual transported me back to simpler times in my life, when my $8 a week allowance was blown at Komix Kastle the day I got it.  Ah, youth.